The Femme’s Guide to the Universe Available as Audio Book

The Femme’s Guide to the Universe is now available on Audio!

Please go listen to the free sample to hear me purring every word into your ears. I made it with love, LOTS of love. XOXO

101 Uses for [Abandoned] Sexy G-strings / Thongs

Hi Rainy Day–I wanna see you. Let’s tie back the curtain with a girly sexy thong

Let’s face it–even I, Shar Rednour, promotor of parents having sexy date nights and keeping their love alive physically and sexually, yes even I have got to admit that I do not use these sexy thongs for their original purpose anymore. Pah-leeze. Sex is often after an hour of reading The Wind in the Willows aloud or indulging our youngest in mega tooth sharkon youtube. I do not wear thongs for bad quality mega-tooth shark videos!

I am listing this picture as my #2 since using them for hair ties would be the number 1 use. Can I add a “duhhh” ala 80s valley girl to that statement without annoying you?

between too-small-for-the-boys spiderman underwear and my pile of lonely g-strings I am never without a hair-tie.

please send your other uses and I will add them–I am sure we can come up with 101 uses for abandoned sexy g-strings or thongs.

PS: don’t forget to hit my “like” button below so more people will join in the fun! thanks.


#1 as a hair tie

#2 to pull back curtains

The Anti-Spa SPA treatment! Shaving for moms

Even with house-slippers on and the kiddie stool at the toilet you can get those rascally hairs.

Yes shaving for moms and other people who do not have the time or take the time treat every shaving session like it’s Spa Day at The Claremont! I never go for these gimmicky things but this one really worked. Shaving easy the first time ever!

Jackie and I got in a fight once about money and I said, “listen, the true evidence that we have officially moved into middle-class despite not having a 401k or savings account is the razors I buy. She laughed and said “you’re right.”

I now buy a fancy expensive razor BECAUSE it works. I love it. Before I go more into finance and helping you save $ buying it let me give you the review of the Venus Spa Breeze by Gillette. It has the little gel pillows on the top and bottom of the razor. I’ve seen it before and didn’t even pay attention. They looked like little rubber teething rings to my eyes. Sorry. But one day the word “sensitive” caught my eye, I had a coupon and what the heck, I bought it.
The Venus Spa Breeze is perfect for moms and women on the go.(see my last line for coupon)

You get it wet, slick it around your body and bam you are done. We have a shower stall that you have to stand in–which makes shaving all the more dangerous. No nicks, no ouchies, no boo boos. I used it everywhere. I did get bikini line bumps when I didn’t go back and shave soon enough. I did not get them though from simply shaving and I did not get them when I shaved often. Take it out of the shower between uses, let it air dry and store properly if you want to use it again.

Let me know what you find price wise. Luckily I had $6 CVS bucks plus a coupon or honestly I never would have bought it the first time. In the San Francisco Bay Area I cannot find them for less than $14. Target said $10 online which was cheaper than all except Amazon.  Now I get refills on Amazon. Be sure to click open the “Special Offers Available” link that is so subtlety sitting below the price line. That will open up a $2 coupon that you can apply to purchase.

KOFY break! TV break that is

I have been with some of my Swirlians Michelle Meow and Simma The Inclusionist at KOFY TV recording for National Coming Out Day.

In this first picture I look kinda serious but I wanted you to see it because I so carefully rearranged the set so that the viewer could see my shoes through the vase. At first the director was doing it then he finally said “Just put it where you want it.” I am wearing my Fierce Queer Femme T-shirt by recording artist Nicky Click and a cool fringe skirt that I picked up at the Benicia Witch Faire.

Shar on the set of KOFY TV with Swirl


And here is another. October 13th we host a Gimme a Break Marathon then our first Swirl TV show airs! We choose to celebrate National Coming Out Day as our first show. Our “pilot” if you will.

Shar On KOFY TV with Michelle Meow of Swirl

Citizen Swirl makes TV Debut

Mynx D'Meanor of Fishnet Follies is ready for Halloween

Last Saturday night, October 13th brought out Citizen Swirl debut TV show.

Jon Branfman, Shar Rednour, Simma Lieberman, Cecilia Chung,
Mynx D’meanor & Michelle Meow


October 11th was National Coming Out day and KOFY producers invited us to use that opportunity to bring our radio show to the Telley. Swirl has been an awesome radio show with Michelle Meow at the helm.

The episode focused on Coming Out issues with Michelle interviewing Jon Branfman from Equalize Youth; and human rights activist, LGBT Grand Marshall and SF Health Commissioner Cecilia Chung.

human rights & Transgender activist

SF Health Commissioner


The Lovely Mynx D’Meanor from Fishnet Follies











We ended with a drop dead gorgeous burlesque by Mynx D’ meaner.

Simma the Inclusionist joined me on the couch with her rants about the Romney ticket as I advised on Love Life & Sex with Michelle asking all the important questions.


Did you miss it? Wish it were on Youtube? well it’s not. Old fashioned TV. Next I will warn you and I hope you find a friend with a DVR if you think it’s not YOU  to stay in on a Saturday night or decide to have a viewing party like I did and making staying in THE thing to do!


She can’t find that special Transguy! (Where are you?)

Love, Life & Sex: Help me find that special transguy to date –NOT online!  Part 1: Shar here. I am calling this “part 1″ because I used this listener’s question as an opportunity to teach a trick that has been very successful in creating long-term relationship regardless of the person’s gender, orientation, region, et. al. It helps in almost all situations. I picked this question to share my secret because the listener was fed up with online dating. THAT said, I really want to get in deep about some of the online dating and questions that my trans friends have brought up, so that will be part 2.  I will bring some helpful folks right into studio with me. Stay tuned. Until then, listen up and try this at home!

How to Record Your First Audiobook–Tips from My Virgin Experience

Shar Rednour being recorded for The Femme's Guide to the Universe at Fantasy Studios in Berkeley.

Susie Bright—an Audible author, show host, and Editor at Large—warned me that narrating an audio book is  “grueling work.” It’s not like a ten-minute or thirty-minute reading that most authors are used to putting out. It’s hours of having to be “on,” keeping your energy up— yet evenly paced.

Nevertheless, I auditioned to read my own book, The Femme’s Guide to the Universe and got the job! I’d like to share some of my thoughts in case this helps other authors who are thinking about narrating their own books—as well as fans who might find this interesting. My own new audiobook will be coming out in late October!


First, Deets, What Are You Reading About?

The Femme’s Guide is non-fiction. It’s a funny, campy yet practical book of love, life, fashion, home decorating, work, sex and more (thus Universe) advice for a queer-femme crowd— although many Girlie-Girls like it, whether queer or not. Oh, “and those who love us!”

Narrating is not “Reading.”

There are professional narrators— “voice-over talent” or “VO,” as they call it— people who do this all the time. They know all the tricks.

I have been a Gold Member at Audible (hardcore listener!) for over a year now and have become a critic myself. Besides the books I buy, I listen to every free sample they have on there.

And I judge. I judge like nobody’s business. I’ve become a snotty, demanding, heartless critic!  I do feel for the authors, but not the narrators. They are paid professionals. I expect them to be great. I even have returned a book that didn’t meet my standards.


Practice at Home

I started by practicing at home, a lot. I learned so much from listening to myself. I always strive to be interesting and lively. But now, for narrating, I am also listening for rushing, energy, mouth sounds, slurs, and the flow of my own content.

When you’re in a pro studio with an engineer, and you’re narrating six hours a day for days in a row— you’re not going to want to go back to re-do each sentence. And your producer can’t do that either.  So what’s the answer? Strive to be awesome the first take… over and over and over again for a zillion “first takes” because IT’S A WHOLE BOOK!

Between takes,  I took time to re-wet my mouth, to sync my energy, to drink water, to deep breathe, to turn pages, to wiggle my toes then “settle.”  PS: I wasn’t not awesome every first take.


“Stomachs Be Warned!”

I watched some tips on an ACX instructional video. The expert there warns that you can take off noisy clothing but there is nothing one can do for stomach noises. Note I say “noises,” not growls. The tiniest like rrrrgg, or oinggrrg is heard in a sound proof booth. I had to leave early my second day because my Throat Coat tea was too stimulating for my digestive system! The studio and engineer had been booked for days. I became superstitious and only ate  what I’d safely had my first day of recording. My engineer tried to reassure me that I could branch out, but I didn’t dare: Scrambled eggs with vegetarian sausage for breakfast then the leftovers of that with ketchup on a tortilla for a snack at the studio.

I never drank throat coat again.


The Perfect Manuscript

Besides dry mouth and tummy, there were the stumbles from examining the manuscript. As I read aloud, I found errors that the editors and proofreaders had missed. Or sentences that were just plain clumsy when read aloud. I wished I had read my whole book aloud, even before I had turned in my final draft for publishing.

I wanted to shoot myself. I am confessing this to help other authors. I could play it cool for my audience and fans, but I want to help others so I confess.

Susie had warned me of this. She said to read my whole book aloud before I submitted it for a print or ebook. REALLY? I had never done that for any of my other published books. But if your final goal is an audio book, you are going to be reading it out loud later, so Baby, make it sooner, and work out the kinks now. I had read warnings on Amazon’s Kindle advice sheet to authors. I had outside readers, professional editors— and still found mistakes. I will always, from now on, print a copy for proofing as well.

A day or two before each Studio session, I read that day’s pages aloud with markers in hand, marking up my pages with my own notes of vocal cues. A big circle between words equalled: “pause.” Dots under a line meant “say softly,” a squiggle meant “lively.” If I put a square around a word it meant that word was dividing two contradicting thoughts. (“I really like to eat healthy BUT this super cute butch wants French Fries on our date”).


The Eyes Have It

You need to have big easy-to-read typeface when you’re reading for hours. My engineer, kindly enlarged my manuscript type to 24 point without my even asking. He worked from a Kindle PDF and it ended being the size of an 8 x 10 sheet of paper. Reading from an iPad, like I thought I was going to do, would’ve done me in. Also, at this writing, I do not like the few options we have to electronically “mark” up a pdf with vocal cues or corrections. Marking on good old-fashioned paper is best in me.


The Studio

I liked being treated so wonderfully at my studio, Fantasy Studios in Berkeley. They had hard candy, tea, and a fancy glass water bottle with a star etched on it.

There was no director for the sessions. I made my engineer be a director of sorts. An engineer will tell you if a take isn’t good for technical or sound reasons, but they don’t want to insult talent by critiquing performance or script. That’s usually a director’s job, at least in other fields. I am a very self-directed person as it is, and it’s MY material so not having a director was great for me.

I asked my engineer to not worry about my feelings: if I lost energy or didn’t make sense, or slurred or sounded stupid, whatever–he was to tell me! It’s a lot of trust which brings me to…


Reading Without an Audience

Unlike public readings, there is no one to vibe off of, nothing. You are alone in a soundstage—a soundproof room—with no feedback.

One thing I realized was that I screwed up more when I thought about the process—engineers, directors, producers. When I made myself focus on my material, and loving my material/my baby, I was at my best.


Verbal Accents & Tics

My engineer and I both agreed that I should let my Southern/Midwest accent mixed with the Valley Girl twang come through. That’s me. We say: “EvaDENTly”  and “inteRESTing.”  If people don’t want to hear an occasional sarcastic “Like, really?” then they won’t like me.


Laughing At Your Own Jokes

I couldn’t get past saying “L.A. Lesbian” without cracking up.

And when I say, “Why do you think these women become UPS drivers? For the Dental Plan? —More like the POONTANG Plan!” — my engineer was on the floor laughing.


Tip Sheet


1. Read your book aloud to yourself.  Do this on a printed version that you can mark up.

2. Hydrate—and watch what you eat, to avoid “stomach voice.” Peppermint Tea. No Throat Coat!

  1. Listen to as many audio books as you can. There is a free sample to every audio book that Audible offers. Listen to ones in your genre, listen to best sellers in any genre, listen to narrators vs. authors, read the reviews, do your homework.
  2. Your accent, your dialect, your style, is what the audience wants to hear. Mentally prepare for this as you prep.



1. Focus on your work, love your work, love your fans, focus on each precious word.

2. Hydrate.

3. Keep your energy up with small breaks. Do something fun that shoots adrenalin into your body, like a mini photo shoot or calling a friend who gets you excited.

  1.  Slow down. Don’t talk too fast.
  2. Wear soft clothes that don’t make noise.

6. Stay warm. Bring a soft sweater or something to keep you warm. It gets cold sitting still for so long. And a scarf for your neck.

7. Re-wet your mouth often. Don’t wait for the engineer to correct your mouth noises. Pause, wet, then go on.

8. Use hard candy to suck on, for the sugar rush and to coat your mouth and throat.

9. Have fun and let the emotions of your feelings come through!

Kandi Burruss: Make Me Over!!

Bedroom Kandi

Kandi Burruss Make Me Over! on Love, Life & SexKandi Burruss came to Oakland for the Good Vibrations Oakland store opening and boy did she Make Me Over. That’s the name of one of her new sex toys in Bedroom Kandi. On this episode of Love, Life & Sex Michelle Meow is very concerned about lesbians being discreet! She keeps telling Shar this toy is perfect for lesbians who can go use it at the bathroom. Well…you decide for yourself.

This lipstick and compact affect your mood more than a makeover!

Retired listener, “Self-love makes me cry because it brings up memories of old loves”

by Honey Lee Cottrell


Love, Life & Sex: Retired, single and sad

Some weeks shows are more intense than others. I am so grateful for the honesty in this week’s question. “I am 65 and single and I don’t think I will ever date again. I do not need advice on vibrators or orgasms I was screwing before you even born little lady. But now when I masturbate I actually cry. I am sad and lonely.  It makes me miss my previous lovers. It makes me not want to masturbate. What do you think I should do?”  Listen in the Love, Life & Sex to hear some suggestions for true heartache when sex reminds you of old loves.

“The Hitachi Magic Wand Scared Me”

Mickey Mod & Dylan Ryan ready to use Hitachi Magic Wand

Love, Life & Sex: How to Use a Hitachi Magic Wand ”Scared in Albany” writes, “I followed my friend’s advice and bought the hitachi magic wand. It’s huge! I’m too embarrassed to tell my friend I don’t know what to do with it. I opened it, then closed it, then put it back then to the bottom of the closet.”   

Shar explains how to use a Hitachi magic wand. It’s not the most exciting looking toy but it can give fantastic orgasms.

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